a balloontwister’s aliya saga

Well, no jetlag…. I slept through the plane ride… a good portion of it. It was either the:
a. SLeeping pill
b. The empty seat next to me
c. An Unfinished life…
Clearly the worst movie I’ve seen in a while, of course without a TV or going to the movies I haven’t really seen many movies its not difficult to say that but it was horendous…. so..
thank you robert, norgan and jennifer for putting me to sleep and allowing me to have virtually no jet lag affects.
If you’re having sleeping troubles..please rent..
An Unfinished Life (2005)
Directed by
Lasse Hallström

Writing credits (WGA)
Mark Spragg (written by) &
Virginia Korus Spragg (written by)
Genre: Drama (more)
Tagline: every secret takes on a life of its own
Plot Outline: A down on her luck woman, desperate to provide care for her daughter, moves in with her father in-law from whom she is estranged. Through time, they learn to forgive each other and heal old wounds. I’m drowsy just copying and pasting this….
well, one day in the books… Me and the kids. Kids and me.
Yesterday I realized that without a checkbook or a PIN code for the ATM… Israel is a hard place to get around. I had to plead a to the bank teller in broken hebrew…to let me have money. Without a check. Or a PIN code for my card or proper ID. I guess the tears helped.
I had to pay for Michal’s (and miri’s and Zehava’s) lunch in cash. Yoni isn’t getting school lunches. I figure all he eats in peanut butter so why waste the shekel.
LAst night I decided that having hot dogs wasn’t healthy enough so I insisted on them also having vegtables.
Yup, you guessed it.
French Fries and pickles.
Only healthy foods on my watch, mister…
Dinner went well, after I burned my arm in the oven of course.
So recapping, No money, hot dogs and a red mark the size of a goldfish on my arm.
And that was only Monday.
Oy.
Today we actually going on a tiyul near the area. I was told there is a special flower that only grows in one area in Israel this time of year… so… whats the worst that can happen….
This morning at davening I saw Jeffrey Kazan. He’s here for the week and heading up north today. Tommorrow morning we may go to Jerusalem together.
besides that and the balloons that are all over the place…. things are doing ok. On side note, its martial law around here.
This morning I had the kids up and ready for school in 25 minutes. Drove them to school 15 early. I had to go back later to bring moshe his shoes and YOni his pants.. .but at least they were on time. It also marks the first time in my life that I made a ponytail for someone other than Moshe schwartz(only DAVID touches my hair)…. sorry had to bring that in….
Michal took it out a second later but gave me an A for effort.
Oh well.
Have a great day and a good month…as ADAR is in the AIR….
U.D.

Well, finally made it back…. The flight was the easy part… it was the hour trying to FIND the car and the 2 hours getting the tow truck guy to start it up… that was the tough part…. There is nothing more fun than after a 10 hour flight than having to tour the airport parking lots and dealing with a car with no power…. eizah Kef..

LAst night moshe and michal decided to stay at their host families, Yoni had enough so he slept in the house last night. At around 9pm he decided he was hungry so it was US hot dogs for Yoni…. which will probably start a streak of hot dog dinners for him. I think at this point I don;t think I care anymore. Penina is away in NY and if doesn;t want to eat anything normal… it will be hot dogs and more hot dogs…. oh well. He;s got worse things to tell his shrink when he gets older…. As I do about my folks… kidding… please… just kidding… eema..

Its actually GREAT to be back home. It was great seeing SI and the guys.. but it is great walking to shul… Its sunny here…. just strolling down the streets…. heading to the makolet…

Today I have to catch up on some work and prepare for the fun tonight. Homework, Car pool to Soccer, Tutoring…. Work, I think I have to make dinner for the kids at some point. I think.

“You’re hungry? You had lunch earlier!” I also think I may have to do laundry at some point too. Oy.

on a side note, A dude age 36 just got engaged. I met the guy at the dov shurin concert a few months ago and this morning I heard he is engaged to a 25 year old.

I wished him mazel tov and he said… he had to wait for this girl before he started dating her. I’m thinking… oy, is she 17 or something? Turns out she is a ba’alas Teshuvah. She became religious a year ago. So it was bashert that he was single all these years. Its great to be able to look at him and smile as opposed to looking at him in shul without a talis and feeling sad. He is so happy and is so thankful to H-shem. And he kept going on talking about the great middos of his kalla especially hakoras Hatov. After davening I thought about how much I (or we) just go about our days without really feeling thankful. WE all know people that are single that are our age. Do we ever really thank H-shem for having found our spouse? Earlier than later. Just a Deep thought for today.. (just call me Jack Handey).

Well, I think I’m going to finish my second israeli coffee and try to do some work. The key is to do as much of the 8 hours BEFORE 3Pm today which is when Moshe comes home and the WORK begins…. Speak to you later!

u.d.

Well, good news…

Are you sitting down?
I’m heading home to spend the next three weeks in Israel.
I was already told I can spend purim week home. Then I was told that next week will be slow and thatI can work from home.. so I just asked if I can spend the middle week home as well….. and ..I got the OK…
so I’m in Staten Island with Penina and Tamar for Shabbos and then Sat. night I head back to Israel.
SO for the next few weeks, I get to accomplish the dream of every oleh and oleh wannabbee…
Work in ISrael Online and get a US salary…. WOO hoo..
I’m not kidding… the biggest concern for olim and oleh wanabbees is the working situation..
work by commuting? WOrking online? WOrking for a Israeli company …..
so Boruch H-shem I get to spend the next three weeks in ISrael with thr family AND my parents..
Yes, My Mother IS coming. I’m not sure how many pills my father will have to put in her food that day… but… thursday they will be on their way.
The only difficult part will be the next week, Penina and Tamar are in Staten Island for the week. She’s here for work, Penina that is. Tamar is here to wreck my in laws’ house. SO far the biggest wreck is Tamar as she has fever, this after throwing up on Penina on the way home.
Chamood?
This morning after landing in Teterboro I went to see Yossi and have some software installed on my laptop. I was surprised to see he also has a dell laptop with a large screen. I think it was a mistake for me to get the widescreen. Some of you get a laptop or computer for its performance, yes?
Not when you are on the road.
If you have a large laptop you get weird looks from people in the airport, on the plane…
Ever try working on a laptop on the plane trying to drink a coffee… ?
Not easy….
Its the SMALL laptops that are the cooler ones…. It also fits better in your briefcase… Oh well, I’ll know for next time…
Other than that things are going pretty well, as I am excited to be home… not SO excited to be home with the kids….without PEnina.
Starting sunday its going to be Daddy
1. Preparing breakfast and Lunch for the kids for school
2. Car pools to soccer, gymnastics, school
3. Cleaning…. ok, I’m kidding about this one.
4. Baths. (The kids are no problem, I was talking about myself)
5. Everything else… driving to tutoring, homework… oy..
Its going to be fun….
Well, I’m going to sign off and try to do some work before shabbos.
U.D.

YIkes, it is cold here. By the way, 20 fahrenheit is alot colder than 20 celsius.
Alot colder.
I think short sleeves was NOT a good idea to wear off the plane and into work today.
Its around 3pm, and I am NOT falling apart like I was last time around. I slept most of the 12 hours last night.
There is only one thing that is more boring than Zorro 2..
Its watching it a second time.
Sleeping pill + Zorro2 = Sleep. Remember this folks.
Before the flight we all went bowling in Petach Tikva. Apparently there are bowling alleys in Israel, I think 8 or 9 of them.
We had a really nice time. MOshe and Tamar used bumpers but that was still too much work for her so she went to run over to the arcade games where she promply lost one of her bowling shoes. After we finished the game we spent around 15 minutes looking for it. After spending most of that time face down in filth, I did find it. My co workers are wondering what that smell is I’m sure. Apparantly people in Columbus do not celebrate President’s day. Everyone is here. So much for getting a parking spot within a ten minute walk. Well, thats most of it. The weekend was not long enough but…we move on….
Have a good day!
j

Its sunday afternoon… and its almost good bye time… again…
yikes. Just when the Jetlag is ending too…
Its been a different feeling this time around. I have to reintroduce myself to the people in Shul and For those who weren’t here for shabbos, the next time I see them will be in three weeks… so in other words.. I would have seen my Staten Island Chevra more often than my Israel chevra…
Very weird.
Things seem to be the same. I bit windier this time around… but its still alot less than the 2 feet of snow that welcomed me last week in NY.
Its going to be an interesting few weeks around here. Im in COlumbus, Penina is going to Staten Island for a week and a half and Doovid is going skiing in NY.
Today we had the chossan visit us today. Our cousin Tzvi Grauman and his father are in Israel visiting Cousin Zanvy an they stopped in for a few minutes. When they called and announced that they were in town brought the same reaction to myself and Penina that happens whenever we have US compnay.
I’m happy.
Penina grabs a broom, vacuum, etc.
I run outside to find our guests who are having a hard time find our street on thanks to the street sign that is invisible.
Penina does a once over… which rooms can and can’t be shown to the guests.
It was nice having them over and I think Penina will be at the modest Vort next week in Boro Park.
Boro Park people always make small modest simchos…
Tonight as a send off, we’re taking the kids Bowling in Petach Tikva after a burger bar dinner… nothing says good bye like french fries and burgers..
Actually, I’ll spare you of the Bowling puns…
Well, I’m going to sign off.. I actually ran out of work last week and had some emailed to me over the weekend.. SO I’ll get to it now..
U.D.

Here we go again..
I’m packing up my suitcase … filled with balloons and pants for yoni… and heading to Israel.
One stop along the way.. a hebre wlesson with a tutor. I think I found someone and today is my first lesson. Ulpan in COlumbus… What a country!
Then its off to the airport… then its LGA …. then a cab to kennedy… to israel…. hopefully I’ll be in Israel before shabbos starts.
Its been a short week actually. Got in Monday and leaving Thursday.. so the week is kind of small when you think of it. TO make things up, I work alot over the weekend. The good news is there is not alot of work to be done over the weekend.. so I may get to enjoy the weekend for a change. It all hinges on the flight from NY to Israel… if I can get some sleep… it will be great.. if not.. its zombie time.
There is alot of pressure on me to make the shabbos a great one…. kids are excited to see me… alot of friends to reintroduce myself too…. I hope I can get over the jetlag….quick. But despite the travel and crazyness… I really am thankful to H-shem. THe crazy travel is better than not having work. There are many in Israel, and in the states that have no job or a job that is not well paying, so when I explain to people my crazy schedule, I do not want to come off as a c0mplainer. On the positive side. The work IS going well and the company is happy with my work and if anything they will be extending my contract.
well, I’m going to pack out. Getting a bit smelly in here. I still haven’t found out where the trash compactor is…. so I have 2 weeks of garbage here.. on the positive side… I think housekeeping is coming in tommorrow.. I hope she can get past the smell and clean the place up.
have a great weekend!
J

oy.

Please listen carefully. When traveling, look up the weather forcast of the place you are going TO. Not the place you are LEAVING. After hearing of snow in COlumbus totaling 2 inches, I decided to escape to NY for shabbos. Bye. Enjoy the snow suckers… BOY…. did that turn around in a big… and cold way… from 6 to 12 inches… to 12 to 15…. to 2 feet. We do NOT have that in Israel… or Columbus. I found out this morning, that it was a record snow. Sat. night was messy as the fun started with a flurry… the most fun was the nesivos dinner. I was Korn’s date. I didn’t have to pay but he insisted on the good night kiss. It was a nice dinner as I got to see my father who took pictures, Little did I know that this was the only chance I was going to have to see him. The trip to brooklyn and far rockaway to see the folks and sister was cancelled due to the snow. I guess theres always next time. The highlight of the trip was the football game at the park. Up until the last play it was alot of fun. Actually until my last play it was alot of fun. It may be a while until I play in a tackle football game in the snow in Israel. I also forgot how important Willowbrook was in the eyes of the mayor’s office. Niles place still wasn’t plowed as of this morning. SO it was alot of fun getting the car down the street. Well, the good part was despite a delay at the airport.. I made it to Columbus where I am not only working but finishing an entire fruit platter that Penina bought in Israel. Yes, I was able to put it away for an entire week and save it for tu bshvat. I mean do you know how difficult it is to have carob, dates, and dried something around and not be tempted to eat it…? I surprise myself sometimes.Well, I’m going to do some work…. have a good week.

U.D.

Well, Just got a call from Israel. Things seem to be going smoothly. Yoni was at a friend. Michal was at a friend. Moshe met a new friend and was palying soccer… The only trouble was Tamar.
Thanks to the schonfelds who left “little” people for Tamar to play with she is obsessed with giving it a bath… every 5 minutes. SO to deter her, Penina took away her cups and bowls… well….
Tamar decided to use Moshe’s sneaker as a bath tub… cute… no?
SO I guess it was a good day, more or less for the folks back in Israel. Here things are going ok. Work is good and tommorrow morning I take the shuttle to fly back to NY for shabbos.
LAst night I attended a Columbus BLue Jackets game. It was a great game as the arena is very nice and its in the heart of downtown… which is about the size of downtown willowbrook (very small),,
We bought a special ticket promotion that included a t shirt and a viewing of the movie Office Space in the theater accross the street. It is a good movie that is a mix between Dilbert and ….. well, something…
Its a movie for everyone that is fed up with work, their boss, traffic, office politics…. I think almost everyone can relate to the movie.
I think I may become a BLue Jackets fan…. I’ve been to more of their games over the past few years (1) than Islanders games.
well, I’m going to sign off as I have to finish up some work as the week is coming to a close..
u.d.

brrr…. Well, its colder in Columbus, OH than Israel.
Its around 21 degrees here and sunday I walked around israel in short sleeves.
well, its round 2 of the COlumbus Project as I’m back for another 2 week marathon. I got over the jet lag quicker this time around. I was zonked Monday afternoon but 24 hours later I feel alot better.
I also flew the company Jet yesterday from Teterboro.
It was a 50 seater that had Limited Employees brought in for work, seminars, etc. IT was weird going on a plane without a ticket, customs, security.. just a badge and you take a seat… and thats it.. you’re in the air.
I also learned that there is a huge difference between a hotel and an apartment. Housekeeping.
When I left garbage in the apartment on thursday last week… it was still there yesterday.
well, I think I’m going to have to find out where the garbage disposal place is in my apartment complex is…. If I have a bag a week, I will have 12 bags or so by the time april rolls around… and the smell will probably get worse in the second or third week.
well, I’m off to grab a coffee or something… I also noticed that if I don’t BUY any food none will appear magically when I get back after work.
weird.
U.D. / Jay

Good to be back…

Had a nice flight(s)…. drove to Dayton to catch the 13 row plane…. Caught a taxi and made it from Laguardia to Kennedy without a fuss. The best part was checking in..without any baggage.. no line. No fuss. The guy at the counter actually blocked the seat next to me so I could stretch out a bit… I ended up getting 2 empty seats next to me… wow… can’t beat that.

The flight went well as I passed the time catching up on the daf, working, and watching the Jonny cash movie… until the sound gave out near the end…. Bec. you’re mine.. I walk the line..

So, I call the cab guy that was supposed to meet me to take me home…. he’s no where to be found. He’s in Beit Shemesh… 40 minutes later he shows. I actually broke one of my rules..

never yell at someone bigger than you. I couldn’t hold it in… 2 planes… . up all night.. I just ripped into him.. Well, shabbos was nice as the kids and wife were happy to see me. Its been hard on them, especially with the schonfelds having been there for 2 weeks. Turns out that the Schonfeld kids want to make aliya as well. They are intrigued with the notion that you can “tune” out for the year as an oleh in school. ITs not THAT easy… as my kids can attest to.

Tonight after learning Navi with Yoni, (side note: We learned how Saul was chasing David in the strongholds of Ein Gedi.. hence the picture of ein gedi..) ..we went to a comedy / juggling show. Scott the juggler and josh pfaff.. (some dude) had a comedy magic / juggling show which was held in JErusalem in a cafe on King George. The only problem was there was also a comedian that we heard once before… Brutal. So when we got stuck in traffic on route 1 we thought we may have missed it.

No such luck. We caught the comedian. Picture a russian comedian telling jokes in english. NO picture him not being funny… that was this guy… Just brutal. THe worst part was a women telling him afterwards that he has alot of guts to get up there…

I said… Hey, you’re just encouraging him. If you want to help a fellow JEW, be honest with him. Tell him to work overtime at his regular job or go to russian comedy clubs… oy… people are just so mean.

Tommorrow, is get a way day.. .as its back to Columbus… first NEwark then a corporate jet to cOlumbus… should be fun… yeah.

Well, take care and I’ll speak to you guys next week.

U.D.