a balloontwister’s aliya saga

The Dark Side of the force is taking over.

Looks like my 2 favorite minor league teams are Yankees Farm Teams. I didn’t see this one coming..

Those who know me..know some weird stories:

Being a soccer mascot

Twisting balloons at at Jayson Williams house, he of the shotgun incident..

Proposing at a Red Barons game.

Dressing up like dolly…er… Save that one for another time.

Where was I…ah… so since 1989 I’ve been at maybe 15 games and have purchased 2 jerseys… got my first signed ball from a former Mets there… Got engaged there… Took my friend beryl there….etc…. long story short.. THe AAA yankees team haas left COlumbus…and is now going to be in Scranton as the Red Barons. Got the email from Long time Lord of the Dark Side, Lord Kornius. SO its the SI yankees and Now the SWB Red Barons… and last night.. for the first time the Yankees have overtaken the Mets for the best record in NY… I feel like kLuke Skywalker at the end of EMpire Strikes back…He is 99% beaten. His hand is chopped off. He now KNOWS darth vader is his father.. and if not for a great escape by Lando and Chewbacca…and the droids… he really feels he will succumb.. Either way.. I think I’ll be owing Ralph lebowitz 100 shekel. Lost the best record bet…

I hope I’m not there YET… but it just comes to show….the Yankees are just…. I can’t.. I won’t…. I cannot compliment them. They are the evil empire. 200 million payroll…

whew.. close one…. Let’s just hope that even if the Mets crash and burn.. the yankees will find a way to fall short AGAIN. Been a long time since they won….

I think I need a drink..

J

Almost got stuck in Washington…AND NY for Rosh hashana…

Well, the fun started when I was sent to the wrong airport in Washington and ended up buying a second ticket that got me to NY with an hour to take off for israel. Dulles.. .Shmulles… does it make SUCH a difference? Apparently so…

well, I got closed out of the flight until… I mentioned I was a GOld matmid member…. The ONLY benefit of traveling frequently… oh, and the el al chicken dinner…

Once I mentioned I was a Gold member… the flight opened.. and an extra seat was created. So I was put next to a real smelly dude. His stench will serve as a constant reminder to always go to the right airport. To further keep the smell fresh in my mind.. I took his undershirt and have been wearing it since.

Made it back to Israel with enough time to make it to the mikveh with the boys and got some stares…. from the smelly undershirt….

Well, I made it to the right shul. Turns out I havent been at Aish kodesh in months as I’ve been davening accross the street from me. This may be why my seat was in the bleachers this year. No biggee.

There was a huge sign on the door asking mechila for those who werent happy with their seats. I didnt care but I think the people next to me were very upset though. Wonder why?

Penina and the neighbors split the simanim chores. Beets. Leeks. FIsh head. Carrots. Dates… all of them. Although the most fun was a new ritual when eating the fish head.

Grossing out the kids by eating the eyeballs. Yup. Like little marbles.

Afterwards we went next door and had some sheep head. I didnt eat the ear like last year. Not sure what I had this year.

The only bad siman was my seat. I broke it. It was one of those wooden seats attached to a bench that comes down. Well it snapped off.

I checked several seforim and the siman of breaking your chair on rosh hashana is you’ll get fat and break alot of chairs… and pants. To try and overcome that, I decided to fast today. Interestingly enough alot of people must have done that because the davening today was a fast day davening.

We had alot of company this year. Cousin Zanvy who is going to have the busiest year.. basketball.. football… college…etc. He did promise that he’s come by more this year as he will be making monthly stops to RBS as he goes to his old yeshiva Lev Hatorah. Penina and I commented that we are seeing a different Zanvy. We never knew the grown up Zanvy. We knew his when he was a little boy but he’s not only TALL but hes a BIG. In character and personality. The kids enjoyed is company and didnt feel weird when they woke him up in the morning. We also had Aliza and her friend detroit over for a meal as they were at Doovid for ROsh hashana. Aliza is doing great.

How great?

She hasnt even been to Ben Yehuda street yet.

Not bad, eh?

talk about a great start to the year in sem.

The flight back to the US was decent. I slept through supper and breakfast…. and had an exit row… woo hoo…. unfortunately the flight down to baltimore was delayed… but.. I got to the intended airport…

A highlight was meeting Jonathan Paley in the airport…

who?

The miami boys choir soloist for b’seeata d’shmaya. He lives in nof ayalon near Rabbi and Mrs. Reich (mazel tov by the way…. on the baby girl… sara) I’ve met him before but havent seen him in a while. While I saw him at the luggage carousel I just COULDN’T resist.

I had to say it.

“well, with b’seeata d’shmaya you’ll get your luggage soon”.

LOL…. I got this weird look…

er… dude… you sang that song….

I wonder why this is why I cant seem to make (or keep) any friends. I asked him if he gets these retarded comments every day. He lied and told my he actually doesnt and is appreciative that people remember his solo.

Yup, didnt think you believed him either.

Well, thats about it I think…. Any comments about the podcast?

J

What a weekend, filled with so many happy events.

Well, after years of anticipation…. going through good times and unfortunately bad times… it finally came to fruition.

The Mets… are division winners. First time since 1988. Yikes. That was really a long time ago. One dude on my softball team was too young to remember 1986 or 1988, so this is his first experience of the Mets really being dominant over a season.

MY brother yossi called me from the game and I watched it from my computer. DOesn’t have the same luster as those teams in the 80’s. Baseball is different. Steroids. Huge salaries. The Mets have the highest salary in their division, so they are really supposed to be the top team. THe fact that the Braves have been the division winners for the past decade… just points to how bad the Mets were. In 1986, baseball was more wide open .Teams were closer together. Nowadays, its the haves against the have nots, so its a bit less special for me.

Actually, there is a HUGE Staten Island Mazel Tov.

A Special MAzel tov to the Staten Island Yankees. They wn the NY Penn league championship for a second year in a row. Weird thing is they won it without me. I always thought that it was my balloontwisting that put the team over the top. This year I was at only 1 game and I did not work it. They beat the Brooklyn Cyclones, the mets team, on their way to the title. Good for them. The cyclones still owe me money… but thats a different story.

Also, a mazel tov to the Schonfelds. Menachem is a bar mitzva. Yikes, it was just a little while ago that he was a small boy with a sqeeky voice. He’s actually alot different than he was when I lived in Staten Island. Seems alot more serious and grown up. He layned very well even though it was 2 parshios. Its a bit sad that the entire akselrud famaily couldn’t be there. But Penina called before shabbos to wish them a mazel tov. I’m also glad that I had the sushi at the kiddush on shabbos and didnt wait until the sunday affair to have it. It was already turning.

I brought the balloons so I could get out of giving a gift… but I had no idea that they have 200 cousins and invited the entire RJJ boys school… so I spent the last 2 hours twisting balloons… I should have had my chicken meal mailed to me…

Well, Its been a quiet week so far in B’aalmer. Work has been quiet and I’ll be getting ready to fly home for rosh hashana. I hope they have a minyan for selichot on the plane.

Well, I’m going to get back to work. Its going to take alot of davening for the yankees NOT to make it this year.

J

I have a small break in work so I thought I’d give a few thoughts about 9/11.

On Sunday Penina and I were stuck for a few minutes at a roadblock going from 375 on the back road into the tunnels past Gilo on the way to Jerusalem. She made a comment about it being so inconvenient. I didn’t say anything but this is the way of life post 9/11 in the US but it is an everyday occurance for people living in israel. It doesnt faxe us anymore seeing soldiers in JFK with the huge machine guns. In Israel there is almost no second thought to the anniversary of 9/11.

Even for the anglos.

When I mentioned to my friends on thew way to the airport that we were flying to the US ON 9/11. It didn’t register anything. Unfortunately, this threat is on us 24/7. Seeing security guards when you walk into the mall or a restaurant is normal. Maybe not normal, actually…rather, not unusual. Having to take your shoes off in the airport or not being able to bring toothpaste or deodorant in your carry on is just another small step in showing how we are living in this constant fear. Just think how much 9/11 has made our lives so inconvenient and has made the world a much different place for our children. If I’m going to live like this…. I’d rather bring up my kids in Israel. In Israel we know, for the most part, where the threat lies and how to deal with it. Most of the world is too busy cowtowing to Iran and the Muslim world and think Israel is the cause of the world’s ills.

The most vexing part is the policy of the current gov’t of israel. Are they defending Israel or are they bowing to international pressure. It seems that Olmert is trying to walk that fine line and I do not believe it can be done. Every military action is done halfway so nothing gets accomplished. Soldiers are still not home and the blockade was called off before the international force was put in place. Alot of head scratching going on.

I heard an interesting thought from a history shiur from Rabbi Spiro. The gist was when troubles are being applied by other nations on Israel throughout history. From the days of Joshua through the years of the shoftim. Its only a result of us not doing mitzvot and learning torah. While we have to deal with the external issues, we have to keep in mind that we should pay attention to our own maasim.

It was just in this weeks parsha. Problems are the result of our not keeping the torah. The land spits us out and we face curses when we are distant from H-shem. Lets hope that with a strong elul and teshuva we can see a safer eretz yisroel and world in the post 9/11 era.

J

Rodent on the Run….
Well, Penina’s fears HAVE come true.

The little hamster is MIA…

Here’s the story. Around 6 months ago, the Michal and Yoni after doing well in school wwere allowed to get a pet and hamsters is what they chose. Well, fast forward to the summer. The hamsters were at a neighbor the summer where they spent most of the time escaping and hiding due to a cage that was slightly damaged. Fast forward to this morning… one of them…is on the lam. I think this is like Europe post french revolution. Once europe tasted revolution…. they were all in a Frenzy. The hamsters got a taste of freedom this summer and when they haad a chance…. one of them bolted. The fat one got stuck.

Sunday Penina and I went to get the car looked at and we spent a few hours with Aliza. I was a bit upset when she did not pick up the tab for lunch. Israeli family and a seminary girl from NY… please… we all know who should be picking up the bill. We had lunch at Tal’s bagels and then headed to geula for some shopping. Its a different world. The german colony and geula. Both vibrant and happenning…. but very different. EIther way its exciting walking around and seeing the different types of people. Tourists. Sem Girls. Yeshiva boys. People yelling at each other. Cars honking. After we sent aliza back to school Penina and I went to buy a challa board.. I went to find some gum and had a conversation with the woman who was working the counter. She was in her 70’s I think and was talking about aliya..and the kids…etc… a few minutes later I saw my cousin Rivka Feit from Brooklyn was was in J’lem for a wedding. Just comes to show… its almost impossible to spend a day in J’lem and NOT see someone you know. We all posed for a picture and dodged a few rocks as it was a picture of men and women without a mechitza.

Shabbos I spent on my block. Davening 10 feet away. The furthest I walked was to Dovid’s house… 2 minutes away. Its not that big of a problem..as its still summer in Israel. Very hot and humid. Speaking about problem… more English people in our little neighborhood. Met 2 families just this shabb0s. SO now I have to learn hebrew AND english. I also finally met the decorator who is designing our new place. She actually listened to my input and ideas. I wonder if it was just because I am paying her or if she thought my ideas were actually good. I started noticing that. People that I am paying tend to listen to me more than regular people.

Wonder why that is.
J

Whew… A very… very busy weekend.. here in Baltimore.

Also a very wet weekend here in B’more.

I noticed something very interesting. What takes only a few minutes when driving takes LONGER when walking. Also, when its raining… you tend to get wetter when walking than when driving.

Walking to Shul in my bright yellow CVS pancho did not help that much… despite paying 99 cents for it. My hat did stay 100% dry though. (I left it in Israel, I took my father in laws hat). Just awful weather.. wind… driving rain. My suit pants were still a bit damp in the morning and there was some mud on them as well. Good thing polyester doesnt get ruined easy.

Yesterday I spent a few hours kayaking in harpers ferry, WV. class 1 through 3 rapids… not a huge deal for a raft or a duckie kayak. Unfortunately I did not take either. I took a kayak that was less stable but was more manuverable. Mistake. I had images of the trainquil waters on the delaware when I made that decision. Apparently the shenendoah is NOT the delaware. I was the only one to take the less stable torrent kayak. I used to look forward to the rapids… Not so much anymore. After getting bounced around and thrown off the kayak… I think next time I’ll take the duckie kayak. Turns out due to the rain over shabbos, the level was higher, water was faster and the rapids were just a bit nastier. Just a few cuts and scratches… and one less t shirt. My shirt that I used to sit on… is somewhere in the shenendoah. Lost that after my second drink in the river.

After I went to the Harpers ferry National park where John Brown led his group to start a rebellion of slaves. It was nice to hear and see a piece of history. I recall doing a report on him so it was a nice way to spend an afternoon. The tour guide spoke on how history is divided on how to view brown. MAdman or someone committed to freeing slaves. I was thinking after reading a report this morning on how Israel has approved 700 apartment units in the west bank and beitar how this is also viewed differently by people. Are they pioneers in helping settle the land or are they nuts because they will be living closer to arabs and closer to potential danger. When I saw pictures of brown with is long flowing beard. I thought of my uncle moshe Levinger. Many people, including some that are related to me, think of him and my aunt, Miriam, his wife, to be totally insane. Why would you risk your lives and your family to live in Chevron? Others think of him as a crusader or pioneer.

I hope in light of the Gaza fiasco and the past war we can pull together and have all jews view the west bank people and the chevron settlers in a positive light. Our enemies will not be satisfied with the west bank or chevron or the golan. They want it all. Hopefully all of israel can see this and view the settlers in a favorable light. Even if we wouldn’t settle there, we can still support them and daven for them. Just because you don’t agree with someones thinking, doesn’t make them (or you) insane or mad.

Have a good week.

J

Rain. and More rain. It was a dry and wet week. Baltimore and D.C. dodged a storm.. so I was able to get my softball games in…. (havent mentioned softball in a few weeks…). Looking at the forecast Its going to continue to rain today, tonight and tommorrow.. and chance of rain sunday and monday… Its always like that. Whenever its a legal holiday… its rainy. NO big deal only that I don’t have raincoat so I bought a bright yellow rain pancho. I will be dry and visible this shabbos. Very visible. This will be my first shabbos in the Greenspring side of town. LAst time I was here I was in PArk heights. Its nicer in this side of town and the good news is.. I dont have to walk for an hour heading back to my place.

Work is going ok. Several consultants got other gigs and split. Such is life in consulting. No loyalty on either side. You get in. Get paid a month late. After a little while update your resume, call former places…and get out. Because my project is behind schedule, we now have work sessions… 9am to 9pm all of us in one room to try and make up some work. and NO overtime. One reason why people are looking to bail.

I just spoke with Israel and it sounds like Ruthie, Yaacov and Yehuda are having a nice time. Ruth sent an email the other day and they are all in RBS for shabbos. A bid sad that I’m in the US and not being a tour guide for them. PArt of the fun of living in Israel is taking people around… where the Pizza place is… where touristy places are etc. So its a bit of a downer being here in b’almer.

In Israel Moshe started school and the others start Sunday. Its going to be a fun year as according to YOni’s Tutor. In Israel kids haave to start preparing for the Bagruts. The test that many high schools use as a barometer for acceptance. More about that in an upcoming blog.

Tamar is starting a new gan this year. Its a hebrew one. So around chanuka she’ll know more hebrew than all of us. There are several other kids from out area that are going as well. It will be 10 boys and 4 girls in the gan. Some may feel that Tamar may be a bit overmatched.

You must not know Tamar.

I predict We’ll be getting calls about kids having teeth marks on their hands.. that will be matching Tamar’s. Those boys don’t have a chance.

Anybody hear episode2… my podcast?

http://balloontwisteraliya.podomatic.com/

Take a listen and let me know what you think.

This morning a fellow came over to me and the end of davening. I had no idea who is was… until he introduced himself.

Yossi Brecher originally from MOnsey. My mother has cousins where all of them named their son yossi. SO there are approximately 200 yossi brechers. I think we should just give them a code or serial number… YOssi brecher 101, or YOssi brecher model # 12r3 something like that. He invited me for a meal so Shalosh seudos so weather permitting I’ll be heading over to him.

Well, thats kind of it. Have a good shabbos and have a nice labor day.

J